Morning Rituals
Through the cloudy windowpane you see me locked in chains
Through the cloudy windowpane you see me locked in chains
Bound up in shackles behind heavy iron bars
And I wonder what it is like on your side of the glass
The buzz can come at nine or half past noon
No time cards to punch, while I've got three.
In the sun's warm embrace you may sit
With a book or magazine, or maybe just with your thoughts
They have neither message nor meaning, but that’s more than
fine;
Your actions, good or bad float on through time.
And mine are carved in the stone pages of judgement.
Through the cloudy windowpane you see me locked in chains
Bound up in shackles
behind heavy iron bars
Maybe someday I’ll take an outing on your side of the glass
But dreams end with the ring and the call of Morning Prayer
My body has defied its limbs, in favor of its Master and its
Maker
My arm brandishing the mark of the King, my head wearing His
crown
Your mocking voice is drowning by the rising voices of
commitment.
This is my privilege, my worth and my pride.
Through the crystal clear windowpane, I see you locked in
chains
Bound up by in shackles, behind heavy iron bars
And I have never felt so free.
The concrete details in this poem really make the images come alive in my mind. The repetition of "through the cloudy windowpane, you see me locked in chains... behind heavy iron bars" is very effective in establishing the emotions of the speaker. I especially like how at the end the windowpane becomes "crystal clear" instead of "cloudy"; this small detail emphasizes the speaker finally becoming free. "Privilege", "worth", and "pride" are all abstractions, so maybe consider changing them to something more concrete?
ReplyDeleteVery gripping, meaningful poem overall!
The last three stanzas of this poem were extremely powerful! The speakers voice is so direct and sure of itself that I am tranced into what he is saying. The line "My body has defied its limbs, in favor of its Master and its Maker" sounds like it was taken out of a psalm, and is religiously binding. I do like the flexibility in the setting, however I was too confused about the setting in the first two stanzas. I also wonder whether the first stanza is necessary at all
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