The
Trix Rabbit
This hare was created, through
artificial processes, by the known chemist Dr. Erwin Kellog, who despite his
old age always felt like a child inside. In combining both organic and
inorganic compounds, Kellog successfully engineered this creature. The Trix
Rabbit is most widely recognized for its plush white fur, bulging bug-like
eyes, abnormally large limbs, namely its hands and feet, as well as its
exceptionally long and elegant ears which came as a result of using a rare
inorganic compound, Ceric Ammonium Sulfate, a dihydrate reagent in the engineering process.
The rabbit took on strange habits that stunned its makers. The engineers
noticed that the rabbit would reject carrots in favor of artificially
manufactured pellets of food that contained various colorings and flavors. Dr.
Kellog inquired as to what these artificial pellets were, and he found to them be
breakfast cereal named “Trix” after the sneaky tricks and secrets they used to
create these pellets of food. The creators of “Trix” were quite delighted that
their product was reaching far more consumers than they expected. They
requested that the rabbit’s picture be advertised on their product, thus the
rabbit earned its reputable name “The Trix Rabbit”. Because the rabbit received
so much publicity, he became much more haughty in nature, expecting attention
at every moment, and did not tend to share with others. The rabbit had to be
placed on “Trix” starvation until he could demonstrate that he can act towards
others with proper manners and social graces. This explains why originally, the Trix rabbit did
not have a wide smile constantly spread across his face, but once he learned
how to treat others properly, he became quite the jolly creature. As the
product gained popularity on breakfast tables, children became far more possessive
of their “Trix” and were seen accosting the rabbit, telling him that he is not
welcome to share their food because “Trix are for kids”.
This poem took such a witty twist on the Trix Rabbit! I love how you turned such a playful cereal mascot into a freak of nature rabbit who prefers pellets over carrots. I think you really succeeded at giving the poem an encyclopedia feel, since you covered the description of the rabbit as well as its history. I especially like the last line of the poem that provides the background behind the catchphrase "Trix are for kids"- it's so clever! Though there was definitely poetic language in certain parts, I think you should add more to make it sound less like prose. Brilliant poem overall though!
ReplyDeleteThis was such an interesting twist on the Trix rabbit! It actually makes so much sense! You did a great job on the encyclopedia bit for it. One criticism I have is when the speaker is describing the the rabbit. Each adjective is great however, they don't make sense together. The plush tail and elegant ears paint a nice and beautiful picture yet right in the middle the speaker says the rabbit has bulging bug like eyes which twists up the whole picture of the rabbit and how the speaker is trying to portray it.
ReplyDeleteThis was such an interesting twist on the Trix rabbit! It actually makes so much sense! You did a great job on the encyclopedia bit for it. One criticism I have is when the speaker is describing the the rabbit. Each adjective is great however, they don't make sense together. The plush tail and elegant ears paint a nice and beautiful picture yet right in the middle the speaker says the rabbit has bulging bug like eyes which twists up the whole picture of the rabbit and how the speaker is trying to portray it.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the very best "monster poems" I have read so far--by anyone, not just this class. The way your invest the monster with social critique of capitalism, advertising, and poor sugary diets (all American problems/issues) is amazing. I loved the naturalness through which this unfolds and the constantly probing satirical eye for detail.
ReplyDeleteI want to discuss this poem in class tomorrow if we have time. It's a lot of fun and also really smart.
LOL! Great job! Love the usage of "Trix are for kids." I love your scientific "inorganic and organic" explanation as well!
ReplyDeleteI think this poem can be finessed by adding some transition words to really make all the ideas connect. For example, "riginally, the Trix rabbit did not have a wide smile constantly spread across his face, but once he learned how to treat others properly, he became quite the jolly creature" can be improved by starting off the sentence slightly differently. Start by saying "This explains why the rabbit originally..." etc. Then, the reading of this poem fill flow more smoothly. Great job!
*originally
DeleteThis was so fun to read! I loved how you took a commonly known character and taught us a little more about him. I liked how you used information that we as readers already know and incorporated new creative ideas of who the trix rabbit really is. I think there were times where it could have sounded more poetic but other than that this was very clever!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is very clever! It not only was really fun to read, but you are very creative for creating a poem with a backstory to describe the commercials that we all know and love. It forced the reader to look at the character in a new way and in a different light. It may seem as if it's just about a rabbit, however you really made a mature and interesting story behind this rabbit! I really enjoyed reading this. You used great descriptive words such as plush white fur and bulging bug-like eyes. It made the "monster" come to life!
ReplyDeleteI like how the author turned the Trix rabbit into a monster, but really also turned the advertisers into monsters. She's waxes political about the synthetic chemicals they sell us and how the commercial manipulates us into thinking we're winning by getting the Trix the rabbit couldn't get. I like all of the author’s creative explanations for different elements of the rabbit’s narrative. While most of the langue is tight, at times there are shorter/simpler ways to convey the author's message.
ReplyDeleteI love what you did with this monster, it was such a pleasure to read! You took an ordinary children's character and described it in a way that was fearful and out of the ordinary. GREAT job! It is also great that you described this monster in a way that no one has ever thought of. This poem is simply wonderful and I cannot think of any way to critique it...good job!!!
ReplyDeletei think this was a genius monster poem! to be able to make a monster poem out of a character “trix rabbit” who is the symbolism of sugar and happiness is genius! i love the way you made the sugar look bad and put in the chemical symbolism about what is in the cereal to give a good idea of whats going on in our bodies. i think you did a great job with telling an intricate story and i think that you described it in amazing detail such as “they requested that the rabbit’s picture be advertised on their product, thus the rabbit earned its reputable name “The Trix Rabbit”. Because the rabbit received so much publicity, he became much more haughty in nature, expecting attention at every moment, and did not tend to share with others.” however i think some of your shorter sentences were more poetic while the longer ones looked more like it was exactly out of an encyclopedia! Great job!!
ReplyDelete